A True Story of an Abused Sibling.
A young girl, 12, going on 13, standing, looking into her mirror. She feels her body changing, growing, shaping into an allure of sexual invitation. Her mind is becoming more vanity aware. She feels and touches herself with excitement, confusion and emotion. She feels that she is becoming a woman, but is not exactly sure how to handle the new eruptions that she feels in her mind and body as she receives goosebumps and adrenalin rushes from her pelvis, up her spine ultimately leading to her neck, then stimulating her brain. She touches her vagina and it feels wetter than usual, then receives an odd odor as she looks at her fingertips. Blood, the carrier of her first discarded eggs. Yes, she is indeed a woman. She becomes more confused and feels needless shame because no one properly explained how this event is such an important and shameless event, but more importantly, what to do and how to handle the event in a sanitary manner. Instead, her mother whom just happens to catch her in one of her most important events of becoming a woman, laughs and throws an handful of tampons at her and says, “Plug it up! Don’t get blood on my rug!”
This happens all the time coming from ignorant parents that do not care or do not have the mentality to help the new woman gain her womanhood in a respectful, honorable manner. Instead, the mother is painfully resentful, jealous, and degrading, showing her daughter, the new woman of the family, that it is not a big deal, live with it. Now implanted in her confused mind that she was somehow being “dirty” and sinning the greatest sin of almost soiling her mother’s stupid carpet. Later that night, after figuring out how to apply the tampon properly, she was in her pj’s laying in bed, with her leg exposed. Thinking about how today’s important event was inadequately explained in gym and biology class, and how shallow of an explanation was given in sex education, she suddenly hears the door slowly open. It was about 1:00 or so in the morning, so no lights were on. Her eyes focused on the large silhouette intruding into her room, situated several rooms from her mother’s and other sibling’s rooms. A strong odor of liquor now consumed the room and with her eyes now in focus, seen it was her father. He slowly creeped up to her bedside. She, being scared because of todays event and never seeing her father in her room at this time of the night, laid still, hoping that he was there just to tuck her in and not punish her because of today’s event.
But, it dawned on her, that she did nothing wrong. It dawned on her that he has not come to her room for a long time to tuck her in. She was too old for that. Or so she assumed. It dawned on her that he and her mother was constantly arguing lately and that they were not at all close. As he lurked over her like a dark, cloaked chameleon, she suddenly felt terrified of her father for the first time. He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair. It felt good as he maintained his gentle strokes. His caresses now reached her arm and she felt the goosebumps rise as her body responded in an exciting but reluctant manner. She felt like she was tied to the bed from not being able to move in protest, but it was the fear that had bound her in position. He slowly pulled off her blanket, exposing her body, only covered in shear, loosely fitting pajamas. He felt her breasts in a gentle but firm manner, causing her nipples to harden. She tried to protest, but was frozen in fear. Her body was responding to his touches in a way that felt pleasurable, but her brain was in total fear and turmoil. He unbuttoned her pajama top and exposed her breasts. He continued caressing her, feeling the response from her body. He slowly pulled off her pajama bottoms, now having her totally nude and vulnerable. She then let out a small wince of pleasure as his hand went directly to her vaginal area, but grabbed his hand to stop him. “No, please don’t daddy!” she said in a firm but fearful, shaky voice. He then directed her hand to his already exposed penis. He made her hand clench his penis and guided it up and down in a stroking manner.
Feeling what seemed enormous in size, her mind was twisted with pleasure, fear, remorse, denial that her father would be doing this to her. He let go of her hand and she quickly drew it away. He grabbed her hand again, this time with force, making her stroke him again. “You don’t want me to tell your mother about what you let me do to you? She would be heartbroken! Please help me do what she will not help me with no more, and I promise, I will never tell her. I will never do this to you again if you help me.” As he guided her hand up and down, he gradually let go and her hand kept stroking as he instructed her. He then moved his hand down to her vagina and stroked her, penetrating her with his fingertips. She became more wet, feeling pleasure, confusion and remorse, fighting the feelings she was being coaxed to feel. He then grabbed her body, flipped her over and bent her over the bed. He covered her mouth tightly with his hand and sodomized her roughly. She tried to scream but his hand muffeled the sobs and shrieks as tears rolled from her eyes. He continued to penetrate her anally, ejaculating a couple of moments later. The shock of the intense mixture of pain, emotion, remorse and pleasure made her very light headed, causing her to pass out.
Five years later, she was married to a man and had a couple of children. Ten years later, she was divorced. She bounced around from lover to lover. One particular lover, she felt the need to explain her youth when she was molested by her father. She told the lover that after 6 years of constant sexual abuse from her father, the last few years of the abuse became normal to her, where she came to terms with the abuse enough to enjoy the interaction. The abuse even continued from her father during her first marriage. All the time knowing her mother was very aware, but silent of the continuous rape and abuse. Her mother was divorced from her abusing father for the last 3 years of the abuse, and still remained silent to anyone about the abuse even though the daughter was left to live with her abusing father. The mother later explained reluctantly that she allowed it so she would not have to have sex with her husband. All the while, being jealous of her own daughter because her husband preferred to sexually abuse his own daughter over sexually interacting with his wife. Thus the abuse so continues from generation to generation, in different forms and slowly, our morals deteriorate into the abyss of oppression and non-spirituality.
We are brainwashed to think this scenario just does not happen very often. But think again. One out of three households on average, no matter what the income is, all over the world, experience incest. Where is the failing? It is the giant lie main con-stream media and commercialism tells us on a day to day basis. And the shame is what keeps the tale from excreting into the light for all to see.
“Tex” oNid ittEnEbEd (sHow nO mErcY)
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